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Broken Agreements |
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Marriage Enrichment
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When we break an agreement, the other person usually has feelings about
it! Avoid attempting to minimize or otherwise block the person's expression of feelings. Even be prepared to hear anger, frustration and disappointment. Listen respectfully if the person with whom you had the agreement is expressing their perspective of the moment. There is one very important proviso. If you are at risk of any physical harm, your first priority must be for safety. If you have any questions about how to know if you are at risk, follow this link.
Notice how the first words out of the mouth of the person who breaks an agreement is a litany of excuses. "I got delayed in traffic." The intent is to minimize any ill feeling on the part of the other party. The most important statement to make is one of accountability. If you broke the agreement, then say you did! "I'm sorry. I know I am late. ." This statement will invariably bring a response like "You've really disappointed me." To which you reply: "I am here to listen." Speak in your own words. But include making an account of your behaviour and an offer of your attention to the other person. You may also notice an increased willingness on the other person's part
to request rescheduling the engagement.
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