Advice from the Expert

Lessons

Introduction

Lesson 1

Lesson 2

Lesson 3

Lesson 4

Intimacy Zone

Webmaster

I recommend that you do not attempt to do this exercise as you read it from the computer screen. I suggest that you record the instructions on a tape or ask someone to read them to you. You might include relaxing music that has no lyrics in the background.

• Sit in a comfortable chair or lie down in bed.
• Loosen any tight clothing and remove glasses or jewelry.
• Close your eyes. If you notice that they open, when you are ready, simply close then again.
• Take three deep breaths. When you inhale,  hold your breath for a moment, then exhale. As you exhale, place all thoughts and worries into the outgoing breath.
• Notice any physical sensations in your body. Notice the location and describe the sensation to yourself. When you finish one sensation, look throughout your body for any other sensations. Notice the location and describe the sensation to yourself. Take your time and be as thorough as you can. (pause 60 seconds)
• Now notice what emotions you have. Allow them to wash over you like waves, describing each one to yourself as it washes over you. When one washes over you, it is replaced by another. Describe that emotion to yourself. Keep noticing your emotions and describe each one to yourself as it washes over you. (Pause 60 seconds)
• Notice what you are thinking right now. It is like there is a little voice in the back of your head. Let that voice say whatever it is saying right now. When it finishes one thought, notice the one that comes along next. Allow the voice to say whatever it is saying. (pause 60 seconds)
• Take three more deep breaths, holding your breath for a moment when you inhale, and as you exhale, relax ever deeper into the chair or bed on which you rest.
• Now in your minds representation of the room in which you are doing this exercise, imagine that there is a closet in the corner. Because you are in such a safe place, you know that there is nothing to fear in this closet. In fact, you are very curious to explore this closet.
• So in your imagination, get out of the chair or get out of the bed and go into the closet. When you open the closet, you discover that there is a spiral staircase that leads down, ever deeper, into the very depths of the earth.
• Go down the staircase, taking time to observe the markings on the wall, to listen to the sounds and to smell the fragrances on your way. As excited as you are to discover what is at the end of the staircase, you want to take time to experience the journey.
• Finally, you reach the landing. you wonder at the expanse of the cave in which you find yourself. A vast plain stretches out as far as you can see. Closer to you there is a river with a stone bridge across it.
• You decide to go across the bridge.
• When you are on the other side of the river, you can see an opening in the side of the wall of the cave closest to you.
• When you walk over to the opening, you can see it is actually a door. When you stand before it, you realize it is the most magnificent door you have ever seen. On the door, you read a sign that says "For answers to any of your questions, enter."
• As you pass through the doorway, you enter a hall filled with glorious works of art, machinery of all sorts and books on everything imaginable. At the far side of the room you see a throne with a person sitting on it whom you immediately realize will answer any questions you have.
• With some trepidation, you walk to the throne and ask the wise person your question.
• You engage in a conversation that not only answers your question but deepens your understanding of the issues surrounding the question.
• When you are ready, you bid farewell. You know that you can return to this hall and this wise being whenever you desire an answer to a question.
• You leave the hall, cross the bridge and begin your climb up the spiral staircase back to the room from which you started.
• Upon your return, you become aware of how relaxed you feel and how empowered you are from the lesson learned.
• Become aware of where your body is making contact with the chair or bed. Create a picture in your mind of the room you are in and slowly open your eyes.

The more you practice this exercise, the more you will become a ware of the place in yourself of higher wisdom. In the hustle and bustle of every day life, we don't often consult with our higher self or our inner wisdom. When it comes to our most intimate relationships, we need to afford ourselves of this inner wisdom often.

There is a variation on this visualization that can also be very useful. When you get to the hall, instead of a wise person on the throne, go through the following steps.

• You realize that the hall is a library containing all the information of the world. More important, you see a special room that contains video tapes of you. These tapes contain scenes of you completing every activity in which you wish to become competent.
• Enter the viewing room. you sit in a very comfortable chair that faces a bank of video monitors, allowing you to watch as many videos as you care to see.
• Select the tape that shows you performing any task which you intend to master. Notice that the tape shows you completing the activity perfectly.
• When you have achieved enough lessons, return back up the staircase to your room.

There are many books and other resources that help to get to know who you are. When it comes right down to it, you deserve to know yourself, so make the best of the opportunity offered by being in a relationship.